Avoiding Common Relationship Problems

1. Never, ever manipulate someone. Popular culture often tells us, subtly, that we should manipulate our significant other. You’ll find magazine upon magazine about how to get your girlfriend to do this or how to make your husband more that. But the thing is that expecting someone to change, and emotionally or mentally manipulating them into doing it, is one of the worst things you can do for your relationship. By manipulating them, you are creating distrust and resentment, a terrible thing to do to someone you love.

2. Don’t expect perfection. Don’t expect perfection in the person you love or in yourself. This sets incredibly unrealistic expectations. Neither of you will be able to live up to these standards and you both will end up hurt and disappointed. Even if you feel that you only expect perfection for yourself, this will give you the mindset that people can be perfect and you will subconsciously expect the same from the person you’re with.

3. Don’t bring outside problems into your relationships. Life gets stressful sometimes. We have problems and they make us upset, hurt, or angry. There are many, many people who take out these negative emotions on the people they love, often because they feel like they have no other outlet. But you should never do this. Find good ways to deal with your stress, like exercising or doing art. This will keep you from unreasonable outbursts directed at the person you love.

4. Don’t let things stagnate. Much like not putting in effort, you shouldn’t get to a point where your relationships are routine. Getting the same gift (or type of gift) for every holiday and birthday, going to the same place for dinners out, doing the same thing for your anniversary, etc. Your love deserves better and so do you! Keep things interesting by always trying new things and pursuing new experiences together.
You can be wild and crazy and try things like rock climbing or you can be more subdued and try learning a new skill together, like playing the piano.

5. Focus on the important things. One major pitfall of relationships is that we tend to get super focused on little things that drive us crazy, rather than seeing the bigger picture, which is often wonderful. Keep your focus on the things that actually matter, and constantly analyze why those things matter to you. You’ll have a much happier relationship if you do.

6. Remember that everyone is equal. It is important to understand, for developing relationships, that no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone else. We are all equal, with equally worthwhile problems, ideas, and beliefs. If anyone ever tries to convince you differently, no matter where they pray and no matter how much you admire them, they aren’t worthy of your love.